True Balance by Sonia Choquette

Author:Sonia Choquette
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Mind, Body & Spirit: New Thought
Publisher: Hay House
Published: 2012-02-06T00:00:00+00:00

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How successful have you been in attracting things in your life in the past?

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How lovingly can you imagine your heart’s desire?

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LOVE IS EVERY MAN FOR HIMSELF

One of the greatest myths in the realm of love is the belief that when we fall in love with someone, we can expect to live together “happily every after.” This misconception is not surprising, since we have all grown up with fairy tales that suggest that merely finding a beloved will solve our problems. How many times has it been suggested that if only we met the right one, he or she would fill our void and make us feel happy and secure and loved? I know that in my own life, this was the inferred plan from the time the doctor slapped my bottom and said, “It’s a girl!”

For so many of us, love is really nothing more than a disguised demand: “You take care of me now, and you better do it better than Mommy and Daddy did.” This unrealistic demand is the basis of all relationship nightmares and heartbreaks. As long as we think love means another person makes us feel good, we will continue to miss the wonder of real love; we will remain miserable, frustrated, and disappointed. Sadly, the truth is that no one can fill our voids. At best we can enter into agreements with one another to be companions and friends as we learn to fulfill ourselves. Real love is not a promise to be rescued from our demons. In fact, real love is not about us at all. It is instead the decision to care for another as much as we care for ourselves and to accept him or her for who they are, without condition, without exception, or judgment. This is a very tall order to fulfill, and it is nearly impossible to do so until we accept that we alone are responsible for our happiness. We cannot cling to another person, even when this is disguised as “love.”

We are able to love only when we are able to not attach, control, or manipulate the other in an attempt to make ourselves feel secure. We must be willing to stand on our own two feet. In other words, we must be able to love ourselves, fully, faithfully, and without condition. We can certainly help one another grow, but others can’t and won’t do the work of our growth for us. Whenever a relationship contains clinging dependencies that pose as love, one or the other partner will rebel, and the relationship will reel into chaos. Interestingly, no one seems to be able to escape this lesson, as it is necessary for our own spiritual happiness and for the evolution of the planet. Indeed, it is what we have come to Earth to learn.

The reality is that after we fall in love with someone, after the romance wears off, the real work of love begins. I had a client, Lenore, who

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